The secret ingredient
of subconscious influence.

How do you direct your subconscious “Pymalion power” to bring out the best in others? This is trickier than just giving encouragement or praise. To tap into this particular scientific “magic,” we must go deeper.

Words alone aren’t enough.

In the last blog, we talked about how you can direct others’ subconscious influence over you in order to benefit from the Pygmalion effect. And we discussed how the scientific discovery of mirror neurons and social contagion helps explain this effect, i.e. why we tend to live up to (or down to) other people’s expectations.

One might assume that simply being a positive person—upbeat, encouraging, generous with praise—would be enough to bring out the best in others. It’s a great start, but you may be missing the secret ingredient. Let’s find out what that is.

Kids’ test scores influence teachers’ expectations.

A half century ago, scientists administered a test at a California elementary school that would supposedly determine which kids were most likely to zoom ahead in achievement over the next year. The researchers then “secretly” gave teachers the names of those 20% who they said were most “ready to bloom.” The teachers were instructed not to treat those special students any differently, nor to say anything about the test results.

Well, in fact, those 20% had tested perfectly average. The scientists actually wanted to find out if the teachers’ unspoken expectations might influence the kids’ development. Among first- and second-graders, especially, the results were phenomenal. Those perfectly average children who were seen as special made extraordinary academic gains over the next year, even registering a much higher IQ jump than the others. And that was without their teachers even saying a word!

Unspoken beliefs deeply affect kids—and adults.

Okay, you’ve got the secret ingredient: Belief is what fuels the Pygmalion effect. Our beliefs shape all the subconscious signals we send (such as body language and tone of voice), which in turn get registered subconsciously by other people’s mirror neurons. It’s that subconscious-to-subconscious communication that produces “magic” results.

Does it work only in kids? Nope. Young children may be more susceptible, but consider this: Studies show that bosses who believe people are inherently lazy and will only work if constantly supervised… invariably end up with employees who fit that bill. On the other hand, managers who believe people work for intrinsic motives—such as to maintain lifelong excellence or contribute to a greater good—and that they work best if left unsupervised… end up with highly motivated employees.  It’s not magic, it’s science: Belief is the great influencer.

One kid’s journey from “stupid” to university president.

This month Businessweek mentioned a man named Robert Sternberg. His IQ tested low as a child, the article said, so grade-school teachers treated him as stupid, and for several years, he performed as stupid. But in fourth grade, a teacher named Virginia Alexa recognized the boy’s potential. She believed in him. “Almost overnight he became an A student.” Today he is president of the University of Wyoming.

Let encouragement spring from sincere belief.

The next time you want your employee, your child or anyone else to excel, begin by believing they can and will. Nurture that belief and make it strong. Of course, voice out loud your confidence in them—but know in the end, it’s your deep belief that will allow the subconscious encouragement to come through.

Does this seem like a big responsibility, knowing that your beliefs affect other people’s development? It isn’t big, it’s huge. Embrace it!

Coming soon: How this affects romantic partners.

In the next blog, we’ll look at how this plays out in intimate, romantic relationships, where our subconscious powers of influence become even greater. Psychologists call that the Michelangelo effect. So stay tuned! If you’re not already opted in for blog updates, be sure to enter your name and email in the form at the top right of this page.

Do you have any questions or thoughts about subconscious influence? Please write them below. If you’ve enjoyed this post, please click “Like” and share with friends. Thanks very much!