How can you ensure that a difficult talk with your romantic partner will end on a positive note? Research shows that in 96% of cases, the answer’s amazingly simple: Start your discussion on a positive note! If conflict snowballs, it can do damage. “I’m livid at Alex for joking about my driving in front of […]
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My client Stacey wondered why her married sex life had gone downhill. As we talked, it surprised her to discover one simple yet serious reason: she and John had fallen into a habit of arguing at bed time. The bedroom (and the bed itself) had become a subconscious symbol of negativity. They liked sex, but […]
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What’s the most empowering praise you ever received? Chances are that it was something specific, not vague, and that it called attention to at least one of your core personal strengths. Honor the purpose of praise. As you expand your influence through the power of praise, remember the purpose of praise. It’s not to win […]
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My client Lynda showed up for her session stressed out because a fellow director at her company had praised her. Does Lynda have a problem accepting compliments? Not at all. It was the director’s delivery that spooked her. Secretive praise arouses anxiety. “This morning’s meeting was loud and contentious about when to release our next […]
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When you fall in love, you see your darling in a rosy light, quickly explaining away their foibles and perhaps exaggerating their heroic qualities. That’s fine for budding romance, but once the two of you settle in for the long haul, it’s time to be a realist, right? Noooooo! Let go of your need to […]
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How do you direct your subconscious “Pymalion power” to bring out the best in others? This is trickier than just giving encouragement or praise. To tap into this particular scientific “magic,” we must go deeper. Words alone aren’t enough. In the last blog, we talked about how you can direct others’ subconscious influence over you […]
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J. K. Rowling once told Oprah that she doesn’t believe in magic. Me neither. I believe in science. But new science tells us that we have nearly magical powers to affect other people. And that means, others also have some powers over us. The question is, what will you do about it? We are all […]
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Give a big welcome to our guest blogger CeCe Clark, entrepreneur, speaker and author of the upcoming book “After the Fall: Creating Success in the Face of Failure” (Barrett-Kohler, 2013). There has probably never been a better time in history to be a woman. Besides just being fabulous, women today are enjoying so many of the […]
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“My friends do a lot for me and I want to help them too,” my client María told me, “But I don’t have any free time.” Fortunately, there’s something that everyone wants and needs, which any of us can give, and which doesn’t demand much time—but does require sincerity and specificity. And that is, praise. […]
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“With so much relationship advice out there, I feel overwhelmed,” my client Martin said. “Can’t you just give me the basics?” Why, yes. What creates a good relationship? Scientists have discovered two foundational pillars: positivity and trust. Research now shows that for any relationship to thrive, whether it be personal or professional, romantic or platonic, […]
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