Facebook COO Sheryl Sandberg Stirs Controversy by Telling the Truth

It takes courage to talk honestly about gender in the workplace. Too much truth, and you’ll end up offending everyone from old-school feminists to die-hard traditionalists. Sheryl Sandberg’s new book is deeply researched, beautifully written—and brave. If you’re unafraid of candor, read on.

She tells it like it is.

For example, this will rankle feminists who think women should be 100%  independent: “I truly believe that the single most important career decision that a woman makes is whether she will have a life partner and who that partner is.”

On the other hand, the book will annoy anti-feminists who want to pretend sexism no longer exists. Facebook’s chief operating officer brings up painful facts, including numerous studies showing that both men and women consistently, routinely—and usually unconsciously—discriminate against women. And those of us who think we’re unbiased… turn out to be the most biased!

She shares very personal stories.

But perhaps most brave of all are the personal revelations that she shares in Lean In: Women, Work, and the Will to Lead. For example, Sandberg reveals that sometimes at work she has burst into tears—considered extremely inappropriate behavior for any business executive. Her point? Hey, it happens. Sandberg doesn’t recommend crying on the job, but she wants other women to know that it doesn’t mean they’re incompetent, and it isn’t the end of the world.

Of course, being so open makes her vulnerable. Her book has quickly garnered passionate fans and passionate attacks. Bloomberg Businessweek, normally one of my favorite magazines, accuses her of being a bad mom: “A day after the birth (of her first child), instead of staring in rapt wonder at her tiny son, she was sending work emails.” Instead of? There are enough minutes in one hospital-bound day to ogle a newborn and check email. I doubt the baby minded.

She gives truly useful takeaways.

Sandberg embodies the new feminist. As a smart business executive, she focuses on the real world and how to get real results. She gives terrific—and yes, controversial—advice to female professionals: Be ambitious, speak up for what you want, but don’t be as direct as a man would be, because studies show people react differently to women. This is based not only on her professional experience, but also on extensive scientific research. I’ve been giving such advice to my clients for years, and am gratified to see it voiced by Sandberg.

The haters are having a field day bashing her book. But she learned early on from Facebook founder Mark Zuckerberg that “when you want to change things, you can’t please everyone. If you do please everyone, you aren’t making enough progress.”

Sandberg invites us to step up.

Like her boss Zuckerberg, she is a visionary. Sandberg can see what’s possible—not just for herself, but for all of us. She wants more women to become leaders because she knows that the whole world will benefit, and she believes it’s high time:

“The hard work of generations before us means that equality is within our reach. We can close the leadership gap now. Each individual’s success can make success a little easier for the next. We can do this—for ourselves, for one another, for our daughters, and for our sons.”

What do you think?

What are your thoughts? Please share your comments below. But don’t judge her book based on my blog. Get yourself a copy of Lean In! It’s a fun read, packed with humor, good takeaways and juicy real-life anecdotes. Once you’ve read it, come back and let us know: Does it inspire you to change anything in your life? Please click Like if you’ve enjoyed the post, and of course feel encouraged to share on Facebook!